"Cast Day". The words evoke a very specific, yet virtually undescribable, feeling. Only those who have been there can truly understand the dimension of that day.
With each passing day of the week of freedom leading up to CAST DAY, it get harder and harder to not look ahead and focus your attention on the ever looming CAST DAY. Those last few days leading to it... they were almost unbearable for me. I felt like a 6 year old who hadn't gotten their way. "I'm not going. We just won't show up. No one can MAKE us do this again. It's a choice, right? And I choose NO". Those thoughts would race through my head and cause an ache in my heart.
And then the voice of reason kicked in. "Of course your going to take her. This is what's BEST for her. You know it, you've seen in. You have to be strong ~ quit being weak ~ she needs you. GROW UP!"
"But I don't WANNA!"
And so the battle went.... until, as we climbed in the car to head to Chicago, it became clear that we were indeed going.
The day itself, for me, always hit every emotion.
There is anticipation ~ of what would happen. Where's the curve at now? Are we closer to the finish line? or not?
There is a anger ~ as we were forced to once again face the reality of our 'new' life.
There is resignation ~ With each cast day, the visits get more and more routine. This is just the way it is.
There is pain ~ an aching pain that filled my whole body.
There is sadness ~ that your child has to experience any of this.
There is hope ~ guarded hope; unspoken hope...
There is gratitude ~ that the treatment is available, that we'd found it in time.
And there is comfort ~ in the friends you've made through the journey.
So, as my friends head into their latest CAST DAY, I offer this prayer...
May he offer strength, patience, healing and love.
May you have the STRENGTH to endure the day and the outcome.
May the doctors have the PATIENCE to provide gentle correction.
May your child receive HEALING.
May you feel the LOVE you are surrounded by.
You can do this :)